mattuhh's journals

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09/16/08--12:53: Thinking = bad idea? (chan 2063402)




Lately I've been getting bored alot, and when I get bored I start thinking, and when I think, I think about the things that I try to keep busy to stop myself thinking about.. And that's when things get to me.
Does that even makes any sense?

I have been thinking about giving up photography, which is kinda funny because I am only just getting into it, mainly because I don't actually like any shots I take ever, and it's not just because I can't afford a camera, although that might help but not much, I just have no confidence in myself and my own abilities, or lack of.

I guess what http://asquirrellysoul.deviantart.com/ said is true, We'r


09/18/08--09:54: =] (chan 2063402)




I has cookies!



















That is all you may leave xD


09/24/08--17:55: procrastina..meh (chan 2063402)




I am getting lazy, I have things I set out to do, and never do them, and it's just basic things, like going to the gym, or even bothering to cook some good food instead of junk.

I sleep to much, or I don't sleep at all, I am always tired and I never want to actually get out of bed in the mornings AT ALL, it damn near kills me lol.

I wanted to start running, and using the little amount of gym equipment I actually own to try and get fit again and lose a bit of weight, but I just never have the energy, or I just can't be bothered, and even when I do start to do something, I get distracted so easily that I never finish it.

Any good idea'


09/26/08--18:39: London (chan 2063402)




Today was kinda fun, I got a phone call at 7pm from my friend asking me to give him a lift into London. It was a bit of a rush and the traffic was a bitch as usual, but it was worth it when I got to the Thames and the houses of parliament.

I had forgotten why I like London so much, there's just an atmosphere there, I like the city life, I miss working there alot even though I hated working there too xD

I took a few photo's while driving through, and the quality sucks because my phone hates night time, but I uploaded them anyway.

When I get myself a real camera, London is one of the first places I will go, there are so many beautiful


10/18/08--23:28: It's alliiiivvvveeee!!!!! (chan 2063402)




Just a quick note to anyone who's left me comments and I haven't replied, I have been really busy lately and not had much chance to get on here but I will reply to you all as soon as I can.

And now as it is 7:30 am and I have only just got home, I am going to bed!
Goodnight/morning boys and girls, don't let the bedbugs bite =]


11/21/08--06:11: Busy busy busy (chan 2063402)




I haven't had time to do anything! literally I just work and thats bout it and the moment, plus the days are getting shorter, and way colder, and I go to work when it's still kinda dark, and finish when the suns goin down AND IT'S SO FREAKIN COLD! :(
England sucks! I wanna live somewhere warm, and pretty, and less dull xD
Somebody save meeeee? =D


02/03/09--17:30: who was that? (chan 2063402)




well well well, look who it is.
I'm getting the bug again.


1:29am



aaaaaaaaaaand sleep!


02/10/09--11:36: It can't rain all the time.. (chan 2063402)




But damn it came down hard last night.

And this morning everywhere was flooded, and that's awesome xD

well for some people.


02/26/09--12:10: BrIng on the (chan 2063402)




TRUMPETS!


I'm tired :( I'm always tired lately and it's starting too bother me.
and I haven't been to the gym for 3 days now >.< I really need to go tomorrow! So bug me about it so I don't forget!

New phone on tuesday!! :D I can't wait! but dilemma! Which should I get? Either Sony Ericsson C905 orrrr LG Renois. Both have 8mp camera! :D one has a better camera but no manual focus >.< HALLLP!!!


03/05/09--15:29: Yay and stuffs! (chan 2063402)




So I finally got it! :D

Sony Ericsson C905
Today I am a happy bunny!!

I not really had a chance to play with it yet, but I took a picture that I'm gonna upload here in a bit, so let me know what you guys think of the quality, I know it's not gonna be as good as an actual camera but shh xD


04/05/09--17:30: . . . - - - . . . (chan 2063402)




I just realised I haven't updated my journal in a while, and although I don't have anything worth talking about I thought I would anyways =]


Sooooooo, what's new with you guys?
Not alot has been going on with me really, I joined a gym, so that's been keeping me busy, oh and my sister is having another baby! YAY and stuff's! I wonder if this one will be as mental as Lily, that would be fun xD

My job still sucks, my new boss is like a little ginger hitler bastard, thinks he can treat people like shit, I think I may hand in my resignation soon in the form of my fist to his face, I have never wanted to hurt somebody so much, you know th


04/26/09--12:13: Long time (chan 2063402)




I need to make more time for DA!
I don't get on here as much as I'd like too, and that means HELLO 1000 Deviations and 200 replies!
>.< It's gonna take forever to go through it all xD.
So sowwy everyone for not replying to comments/replies, I'll make it up to you I promise =]


05/01/09--14:18: Dilemma!!! (chan 2063402)




Okay so I finally got through all those deviations and comments and replies! yay me and such.

OOH OOH AND....
I am going to be buying a camera, a REAL camera! A Canon EOS450D.
I am seriously so excited I could pee my pants.. but I wont because that would be wrong!

BUTTTTT here is my dilemma!

This account is my "Camera phone photography" account, I don't know if I want to use it to upload the pictures from the camera when I get used to taking photo's with it.

So do I just stick to this account, or do I create a whole new one and use that to upload those photo's?

help! ^^


05/03/09--20:25: Update, sucking up and advice? (chan 2063402)




It's almost 4am and I should be sleeping, but I have had the week off work and my body thinks it's gone on vacation to America, so I decided to update my journal with some good news, some sucking up :D and for some advice.

Okay so here is the news part!

Today we all rejoice for Mattuhh has finally managed to buy his first ever camera!!

He bought himself a Canon EOS 450D!
The nice camera people also threw in a Tamron 70-300mm lense (I say threw in, they made me pay for it :( ) which has been keeping me busy.

Here is the sucking up part :D

I have always been inspired by people on DA, and I want to mention three people in particu


06/06/09--20:26: it's over... 3000!!! wedding help? (chan 2063402)




wow! 3000 pageviews! are you people crazy? xD
Thankyou all so much for the support, it really means so much to me.

I have a question for you all, a friend has asked me to do the photography at her wedding, it's nt a big church do, just a little gathering, but I have never done anything like it before. I originally told her no but she persuaded me to do it so now is where you guys come in!
Any advice you can give me would be so helpful as I have never shot anything like this before, I don't even know what equipment would be best to use.
Pleeeeeeeeeeeease help meeee :D

Thankyou all again for the support! You guys are amazing! :worship:


07/21/09--12:24: It's been a while... (chan 2063402)




Since I've seen the way the candles light your face...

Lately, I have been way too inactive here, I have so many things to go through, so I wanted to apologize now for any messages I haven't answered yet.

To be honest I have been in a bit of a rut lately, with most things, especially my creative works, but I am trying to get back into the swing of things!

I had an amazing weekend just gone, a friend and I took a trip to the Lake District. The whole point of it for me was to get a change of scenery to try and kick start my creative side, and although I took a few shots we ended up taking a 10 mile hike which included a 4000 foot hike


07/30/09--17:24: Last night on earth... (chan 2063402)




Your Last Night On Earth
Competition by :icontazzydee:


It has arrived. The very last night you shall ever spend on our good green PLanet Earth. We're not sure why...you decide. Perhaps an alien abduction, a premonition of your death, evacuation to the moon time is here; the apocalypse has arrived and we're all doomed...

The reason for departing from Earth is entirely up to you. It can be as realistic or as fantastical as you desire. What we want to know is - how will you spend your last night on it? In this place, with these people, in your present state. We can all be leaving earth, or maybe it's just you. The Earth may go pop, it m


10/01/09--14:22: Well hello there minions :) +UPDATE+WTF dA+ (chan 2063402)




So I finally set aside some time for dA, being as I ave neglected you all the last few weeks, I am sorry but life has been getting in the way of the important things =D

How has everyone been? what have I missed?

+UPDATE+

I finally did my first wedding, I was nervous as hell but it was good, I got some good shots too, I will be uploading some here soon I think.

+WTF dA+
So my latest deviation has gone funny :( the original picture was alot more orange, but dA decided to change it to a more yellow colour :(
anyone know why this happened?

its good to be back lol


12/05/09--07:06: return? (chan 2063402)




I don't know.

I have been very unproductive lately and I should get my arse in gear. I haven't even picked my camera up in a month.

Life has been very busy lately, with work and me being laid up for 2 weeks being very ill and still not fully recovered yet  things haven't really gone too well, but on a good note, my sister had a baby boy, they named him Henry :)

I wanted to say thankyou to everyone who has favourited my work in the last month or so that I haven't had a chance to thank yet, I will get round to it soon, promise =]

I hope everyone is well :)


03/04/10--08:13: New year, new me? (chan 2063402)




I am not one for new years resolutions, or the thought that the date ticking over one number all of a sudden changes my whole life and brings me luck, but so far things have been looking up.

I think I am finally happy, or at least happy enough too forget all the crap and just sit back and concentrate on the good things and relax for a while.

I even decided that maybe some of my work isn't as bad as I think it is and entered a competition in Digital Camera Magazine for creative portraits,
I'm using "The waiting game" as my entry
:thumb126718466:
Wish me luck :) Even though I am sure I wont win it's a chance to at least try and promot


04/17/10--11:28: No title for you :) (chan 2063402)




Ohai, it's been a while! :)

I thought it was about time I updated my journal as it's been over a month and my :devart: activity has been highly un-active for a while.

There are reasons as to why this is, mostly personal and not things I particularly wish to go into right now, but suffice to say I am getting back on track, slowly I admit but nether the less, things are moving in the right direction.. At least I think they are :)

I haven't really been near my camera for the last month or so, it's just sat on the side gathering dust, but a friend took me to a place that gave me a twitchy shutter finger, so I think tomorrow, weather perm


05/16/10--06:05: late late late. (chan 2063402)




I finally cleared out my message box, sorry to anyone that I took forever to respond too.
Finally my 65 hour working week is over, and the weather is finally starting to warm up, maybe I'll get a chance to go out with my camera again soon and stop neglecting the poor thing :)

Oh and my subscription is up tomorrow, I don't know if I will get another one or not, have to wait and see :)

Time for food! who wants some? :)


05/28/10--12:39: Camera bag confusion (chan 2063402)




I need help, and not the mental kind... well okay maybe that too but for now...

When I got my camera about a year ago I got a bag as part of a bundle deal, a lowerpro altus 120 I think it is.
At the time this was good enough as I only had 2 lenses and the camera, a year down the line I have to much equipment to fit in this tiny bag and am looking to upgrade to a bag like the crumpler muffin top 7500 or that style of bag.
The trouble is I am unsure if even this bag will be big enough and can't find any stores anywhere near where I live that sell anything like that to look in person.

The camera, lenses and equipment I want to fit in ar


05/31/10--07:07: ouch :( (chan 2063402)




Well there goes my plans for the week, I kind of fell down some stairs on Saturday, landed on my ankle and did a little bit of ligament damage :(

I am hoping to be all fixed soon as I was supposed to be driving to Nottingham on Wednesday and going paint balling on Sunday!

On the up side though, I bought myself a temporary new bag for my camera equipment, it's not exactly what I am after but it will do for now!

Hope everyone else's week is going better than mine :(


07/14/10--13:25: final entry? (chan 2063402)




Today I am uploading what could be my last picture for a long time, unless something drastic in my life changes sometime soon. Photography used to be one of the only things that could distract me from the things I needed distracting from, but lately it hasn't been enough to keep my mind where I need it too be. Maybe that will change soon, but as of right now I can't see that happening.

I hope that this does change, and that this is just a phase I am going through that will pass swiftly, but saying that I am also seriously thinking about selling my camera and giving up photography for good.

I wish you all the best my friends, and good lu


08/12/10--10:25: Well it's been a month... (chan 2063402)




and to be honest, I am still not sure about weather or not to return to photography or not.
I have been keeping myself busy and not really picked up my camera at all, until last weekend when a friend asked me to photograph a charity football match for breast cancer.
I've never photographed a sporting event before but thought I'd give it a shot.
It was a good day, and well over £1500 was raised, and I got some pretty good shots too. I may upload some on here but then I don't suppose I will. Although there was a pretty nice Lamborghini Gallardo Parked up in the car park so I snuck out and got a couple of shots of that too :p

So anywa


02/02/11--16:49: Defeat (chan 2063402)




Things that once filled me with heart with joy and beauty are now hollow, empty signs of how life has beat me down.
I can feel the 'artist' in me slowly fading away, and that feeling of inevitability looming over my head waiting to strike.
Any creativity I once had has been stripped away. That side of me is lost. I have been defeated.


My only hope is her.


08/07/11--16:23: Long pause (chan 2063402)




So after a very long pause, I actually dusted off my poor neglected camera and took her out into the world.

By world I mean back garden, and by out I mean I sat in the back doorway of my house, while my nephew, niece and their new puppy Dexter were out in the back garden.

I only took a few pictures, and some of them weren't so bad I guess, so I decided to upload a couple of them onto here being as I haven't set foot on dA properly in a very long time.

Sorry to everyone that commented or messaged me that I never replied too, I will do my best over the next week or so to try and get back to you all, and I hope that you are all well.